Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
