Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
