i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
