you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
