If i could tip my vagina, i would.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
