I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
