My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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