either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
