I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Is it because I queefed?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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