We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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