Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
