Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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