I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
