We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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