He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
