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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
