Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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