I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
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make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
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I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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