drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
