Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
