One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm passing your future prison.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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