dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
