the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
