so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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