just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
