I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
