So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
two words...techno handjob
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
