his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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