ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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