Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize