stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
