Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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