**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I currently don't understand fingers.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
