guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
