You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
