one might say we're banned from that church
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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