Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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