New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize