If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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