I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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