When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
