bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
