And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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