franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
