haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
