where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize