erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
