my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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