its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
