you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
