well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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