I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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