I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
