This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Randomize
