He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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