Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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