Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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