Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
