Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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