Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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