i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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