Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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