I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
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As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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