Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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