I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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