So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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