You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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