I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
